Something I whipped up while listening to the Black Veil Brides. I love them, man.
I was kind of going for a disjointed feel, because the person speaking is a little insane. Also I left most things uncapitalized to give the poem a detached feel. the person speaking does not give a damn that he or she just killed someone.
For the Written Revolution:
is it too choppy? Is it clear what is happening? Is the flow off? What's your interpretation of the poem?